So Much

This is a song I wrote on March 12, 2006. It wasn't really relevant at the time to my life, but a year later after an unwanted breakup that I have had a hard time accepting it is relevant and very true to my life.

SO MUCH

How do I achieve it

How do I believe it

How do I even dream

Without you here with me

I'm trying to find the passion

I'm trying to find the love

Without you here to love

Chorus:

'Cause there's so much to hope for

So much to dream of

There's so much to reach for

and so much to love

Well it used to be you and me

It used to be us

It used to be pure harmony

And then we lost our trust

So here I am without you

And here I am alone

Here I am discovering

Just how much I've grown

Chorus:

And there's so much to hope for

So much to dream of

There's so much to reach for

and so much to love.

Bridge:

I'm going to do it

I'm going to fight

I'm going to live my life

With all of my might

Cause there's so much to hope for

So much to dream of

There's so much to reach for

and so much to love

Yeah, there's so much to love

Well, alone isn't so scary

Alone is just what I need

Alone I can do it

Without you I am free

I've dreamed and I've wished

I've hoped all my days

I've always been a little scared

Trying to find my way

But now I'm not so scared

Now I am free

Now I can finally

discover how to be me.

Chorus:

Cause there's so much to hope for

So much to dream of

There's so much to reach for

and so much to love.

Yeah there's so much to hope for

I'm going to hope for it

So much to dream for

and I'm going to dream

There's so much to reach for

I'm going to reach for it

So much to love

Well I'm going to love

Yeah I'm going to love

I will love!

Can't think of a good title

This past weekend was great. It was busy, but still great! Friday night after work I drove to Smithland, KY for a rehearsal dinner to one of my best friend's wedding. It was a very nice rehearsal dinner. Then I drove home and about fell asleep! :) Saturday, after very little sleep, I got up and drove to Justin's. For those of you who don't know who Justin is...he is one of my best friends ever and he was my date to the wedding. The wedding didn't start until 5 and we arrived at the church at 12:30. Justin sat around all afternoon with nothing to do and the worst part was he didn't know a soul. He's a trooper and I love him to pieces!
The wedding was beautiful! Jennifer (the bride) looked stunning. I've never seen her sparkle so much! Afterwards we had a great time at the reception. The best part of the night though, was the drive home. Justin and I had a blast just talking and singing along to the radio.
Sunday, after church, I went to a baby shower for my friend Paige. She is having a baby girl. So you see it was a busy weekend, but definitely full of good times and happiness!

This week has not been as great. I have just felt blah! We had a time change, so I suppose that is part of it. That horrible cough that I thought was going away decided to stick around and get a little worse. My chest just aches. When I breath and especially when I cough.
Work hasn't been great either. We've had some rude people in this week. Two local businesses turned out to be complete morons and jerks, but its their loss (right Carrie?).

Then to top it all off, death creeps in. You know we all make friends throughout our different stages of life. We don't always keep in touch with every friend we've ever made. There are some we choose to forget, some we want to forget, and some we don't even realize we have forgotten. Then there are those friends, who no matter how much or how little you talk or see each other, you NEVER want to forget. Whether it be because they made some huge impact in your life, or if they just always knew how to make you smile....you never want to forget them. The friend that is on my mind today is a friend I had in high school. I have not seen him since. We have, however, keep in touch through emails and such. Thank God for the Internet! I didn't realize how much I had missed his friendship until we started talking again. He was always a good friend. He knew how to make me smile and he knew the importance of being a true friend! His name was Jeremy Lee. Tuesday morning, Jeremy died in a car accident. He hit the edge of a driveway and it sent his car airborne. He was driving his convertible and when the car flipped in the air he flew out (no seat belt on). He was pronounced dead at the scene. Jeremy was 25.
A tragedy like this really makes you think about life. Who in your life do you need to check in on? Who in your life needs to know how much you care about them? Who in your life just needs to know you are there? Jeremy sent me a message on March 10th on myspace and I replied to it on March 11th calling him silly and telling him how much I missed him. On his myspace page it tells when he last logged in, which was March 10th. Jeremy never got to see my response.
Let the people in your life know that you are here and that you care.

For Tommy

Ok Tommy, this blog is just for you! In my last blog I said I thought I was almost over "it". "It" being my horrible cough. Well, I'm not coughing as often now, but when I do it hurts like crazy. I get this sharp pain in my chest when I cough and then sometimes when I just breath it hurts too. My friend, who is a nurse, said I might have an infection in my lungs, but since I have no insurance and the health department is a horrible place, I am going to be optimistic and believe that I don't. That's probably stupid and I should probably go to the health department, but really they won't do what is necessary for you unless you have insurance, and that kind of defeats the whole purpose of a health department. Anyway, TOMMY......here is your update!

Aside from the cough, I am very anxious for spring! It seems to get warm for a day or two then turn miserably cold again, but its March so spring isn't far away!

My birthday is coming up in a couple weeks (March 18th). I am usually very excited about my birthday, because its one day during the year that is all about me. That sounds conceited, but its true! However, this year I'm not so thrilled. I will be turning 25. Now I know that 25 is not old, but I thought I would have a lot more accomplished by this time.
For my 25th birthday life has decided to give me my first noticeable wrinkle. Its my laugh lines so its not that bad, but still....I can see them when I'm not smiling. :( Part of growing up I suppose. I am excited about my car insurance going down. That will be nice. But aside from that I am having a hard time accepting this birthday. Of course that doesn't mean that I won't accept any gifts. I can be bitter about turning 25 and still accept gifts!! :) Oh, that's awful of me!

I'm going tomorrow to FINALLY get a TN driver's license. I have officially lived in TN for almost 7 years now. I think its about time, don't you?

I'm also going to drop off some teaching applications to some of the local schools tomorrow, so say a prayer for me. I really need to get a teaching job this year, if nothing more than to just have insurance again and a steady paycheck. No seriously, I do miss being in a classroom. A part of me thinks that I'd be happy in a middle school environment, but then they have a lot of attitude. Of course, so do I so it might work. Then, I think that getting to do cute crafts with the younger ones is fun too. I'm not really in a position to be picky so I guess I'll take what I can get, but just pray that the Lord puts me where he thinks I belong!

God Bless!