Its all up in the air!

I feel like it is all up in the air. By all, I do mean everything. I have no job for starters. I got my degree in Elementary Education but that means nothing. I do have one school, yes only one, out of all the schools that I applied to that would like to hire me. But just my luck it is in Kentucky. Having a KY license is not the problem, because I went ahead and did the paperwork for that and got approved for certification. However, it only gave me eligibility in K-5Th grade. Go figure the position this school wants me for is 6-8 Language Arts. So now the principal is checking to see if there is any way she can hire me. But, who knows how it will turn out. I did however, go to Hamilton-Ryker not too long ago just in case and I got a call back on an office job at Goodyear. Its sounds promising. The last I heard from anyone they said that they would want me to start immediately once my background check came back. Well, I know for a fact that it will come back clear so all I'm doing now is waiting.

I feel like I am waiting for so many different things. I'm waiting to hear about a job. I'm waiting for money. I'm waiting on a job so that I can get out on my own again. Gosh I miss that! I'm waiting to feel complete and I'm waiting to find the right man. You know that one who will love me for all that I am and even for what I'm not. He will accept my strengths and weaknesses and he will encourage me to become a better woman and he will encourage me to become a stronger Christian. When I was in high school and even while I was in college I knew that I was continuously searching for that one guy. I dated some, but it was never right. I did find one guy who I thought was the one, but he must not have been because we are no longer together. It has taken me a while to realize that we are better off apart, but I see it now. I think over the past years I have grown wiser. My faith has grown as well. It amazes me though. I am such a stronger Christian now than I was several years ago, and yet I am not as strong as I want to be. I wonder if we will ever be as strong as we want to be. I think that no matter what we do or how we live our lives we can always work harder at our faith and Christianity. There is always something more that we can do.

In saying that, I also want to say that finding a man who is strong in his faith is so very important to me but it seems so hard to find. I can meet a guy and I can date a guy, but I don't want just any guy. I want a Christian. That seems like such a simple request. Its strange though. I know some really amazing Christian guys, but they are not right for me. Maybe I still have some more growing to do before I meet the right guy. I don't know. All I do know is that I feel ready. I'm 25 and I am ready for a life that includes marriage and one day children. I want nothing more than to be a wife and mother (all in the natural order of things).

Well, I guess first things are first though. I need to find a job and a good one. One that will actually provide for me. I don't really care if it is one that incorporates my degree or not. If I teach that's fine, if I don't that's fine too. I went into the education department because I LOVE children. Maybe I misinterpreted that. Maybe I am meant to be a mother, an aunt, a big sister, and a friend to children, instead of being a teacher to them. Of course with any one of those above mentioned roles I would also have the title as teacher. When you are surrounded by a child, there is always opportunity to teach. All I'm saying is maybe I am meant to use those "teaching" talents in other ways than as a "classroom teacher". I'm not sure, but right now I am open to any career opportunity and I am also open to love.

Its all up in the air right now, and I'm here on the ground waiting with my arms wide open to receive it all!