FRUSTRATED

These days it seems like it doesn't take much to get me frustrated. Such a shame, I know. Work is a major issue with my frustration right now. Don't get me wrong - I LOVE where I work and I love the people I work with, and I especially love the kids I teach. I am so proud to be a teacher at my school. I don't think I could picture myself anywhere else. However, I am frustrated with some of the people and the way they handle things lately. I won't go into detail because that isn't necissary and in their defense I can't imagine the stress they are under given their positions. It's still frustrating though when you feel like you can't have a personal life outside of work. That isn't fair. I really could go on and on with this particular matter but Lord forbid someone other than close personal friends read this.
Another frustration of mine is in the "relationship/romance" department. After Shawn I didn't want to find love again because I couldn't imagine being burnt like that again. Even the thought of it was unbearable. However, after time I started to realize that mine and Shawn's break-up was for the best and my life was better without him. So I was open to the possibility again although very very cautious. I've dated a couple of guys since then but nothing too major. Then I met this guy, Randy and I thought, "Ok, this guy has potential." I knew from the beginning that he wasn't really ready for a relationship but everything just clicked between us; we both thought so. Therefore, I started to open myself back up and start to believe in the possibility of love again. I did not fall in love with this guy, although I will admit, I came close. In a lot of ways we fit perfectly together. But, as it is with my track record, things did not turn out well. I think, although things ended civially, that we both did a little damage to the other. There isn't anything in particular that I could comment on that either of us did wrong, but it just became clear that we were both at different places in our lives and so it was best not to continue even if we knew that meant we would miss each other. So, it ended (on Christmas Day - although there have been some relapses lol). I decided then and there that I just wasn't ready for anything serious. I wanted something serious and everlasting, but I knew I wasn't ready for anything at all. So I set it up in my mind that I was going to be single for a while and I was okay with that. I have so much going on in my personal life right now that any kind of relationship or flirtation could be distracting from my goals, so why not be happy alone, even if alone can be depressing. Well, in my mind that meant that I would not meet ANYONE that even sparked an interest in my mind; that way it would be easier. So imagine my surprise when I go to hang out with some friends and suddenly meet a guy who does spark an interest. I'm not saying anything will ever come of it, because I do not know if it will, but it is a little frustrating because I had decided that I didn't want to be interested in anyone, and then BOOM I am. I don't like it one bit, but he makes me smile and there are several things about him that do interest me and at the very least I want to get to know him better. So here I am resistant to anything happening, but so is he. He is just getting out of a serious relationship with an ex who is apparently going psycho. I know he still cares about her, seeing as how he talks about it A LOT! I don't mind being a friend who listens, but its frustrating because there are things about him that interest me.
I feel like at this point I am starting to ramble, so I will stop but I just want to go on record and say that I do not need anything else to happen right now that could possibly frustrate me. I'm done for at least a little while!

I feel better now that I have gotten that off my chest. Does anyone ever read my blog? If so, let me know sometime.